Sr.AnneMarie Walsh is inviting you to a scheduled Zoom meeting.

Topic: Tragedy and the Power of Prayer

Monday, May 13, 2024 7:30pm central time/6:30 pm mountain time

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Meeting ID: 651 696 9698

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Meeting ID: 651 696 9698

Tragedy and the Power of Prayer

A dear friend of mine recently lost a grown daughter to suicide.  The daughter was a wife and a mother of two teenagers.  My friend, who is a devout Catholic, has been almost inconsolable so much has this death shocked the whole family. None of them saw any signs that this was coming.  There was no explanation for this sudden happening, only unfiltered speculations on what brought the daughter to this point, none of which could touch the acute pain they have been in since her death.

One expression (which is roundly rebuffed by those suffering this tragedy) is the oft-repeated, almost trite observation that suicide “is a permanent answer to a temporary problem.”  It may be ok to make this remark to someone currently struggling with suicidal ideation.  But to use it with the “survivors” is insensitive and even cruel. It hangs in the air like a judgment, words weighted with hopelessness. When one is actively mourning, what is one to do with words like that?  They are like a weight that can cause people to drown, that can destroy marriages, and that can take the light and joy out of family gatherings and individual hearts.

Over recent years, the Church has moderated its position in relation to those who commit suicide.  Though the act itself is gravely disordered and immoral, the culpability of the person who commits suicide is greatly affected by their interior state and whether or not they actually fulfilled the three conditions that make a sin mortal.  The first condition is that objectively speaking, the action is gravely serious.  Murder is the obvious example, though there are plenty of other sins that are objectively mortal, such as marital infidelity, destroying another’s reputation intentionally, deliberately missing Mass, etc.  The second condition is that you must know something is gravely sinful.  And third, you must freely choose to do it. 

The third condition gets the most attention in this context because we’ve come to recognize that many people who choose to commit suicide are in such interior pain that they see suicide as the only escape, the only way to make it stop.  People can be led by all sorts of emotions, psychological difficulties, and imbalances. The key is whether they freely chose or were compelled by the influence of sickness, pain, or mental illness.

Henry David Thoreau famously said: “The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation…A stereotyped but unconscious despair is concealed even under what are called the games and amusements of mankind.”   And this is why we may never judge another.  We do not know the secrets of their hearts and the torments that are stored in their memories. And we can never know fully their current distress.  Our call is always and only to love them.

So how do we love our loved ones who choose such a devastating course as suicide?  By loving ourselves first and taking refuge in the Lord’s promises and gifts.  We believe that no one is beyond Redemption and that our prayers, even now, are efficacious for our loved ones who’ve already gone into eternity.  When a soul is presented before God at the end of life, God takes into account many factors; key among them are the prayers that have been and will be prayed for that person.  Padre Pio explained that for the Lord, the past and future do not exist. There is only an eternal present. Thus, Padre Pio regularly prayed for his grandfather who had died many years earlier. God knows how many people will pray for a soul, and sometimes the difference between eternal life and eternal death hinges on those prayers. Our Lady at Fatima said that so many people go to hell because they have no one to pray for them, no one to implore grace for them, graces which will be used to save them.  To this end, we are invited to pray special prayers with special power and promises attached, in particular the Chaplet of Divine Mercy.  Masses and the Rosary are among the most powerful channels of grace as well. At these times, our refuge is prayer and the hopeful belief that God will allow our love to follow those we have lost even into eternity, where the Lord’s timeless love can fully redeem them! 

1. Have you lost members of your family or from among friends whose salvation concerned you?  How did you address that concern at the time?

• People often lose sight of the fact that there is a real battle for souls.  Salvation is not a given as many people seem to think.  They put everyone in heaven as soon as they die and may be depriving them of much-needed prayer.  How can we help others understand that we still have a responsibility to the souls of our loved ones even after they die?

• We tend to easily live the maxim:  “Out of sight, out of mind.”  This, unfortunately, is not a good tact to take with regard to eternity.  What habits could we develop to make the Church suffering (the souls in Purgatory) more present to us and less forgotten?

• No prayer is insignificant.  What kind of prayer might we apply daily to the souls that will die that day and are perhaps not prepared?